I took myself on a little walk down blog memory lane this afternoon, and WOW am I feeling emotional! I’d say there are a few factors to my tearful reaction to those original posts (and, yes, there were lots of tears):

1. I’m experiencing a case of “the end of summer blues” and that’s just overall a sad time
2. I’m getting older and honestly everything makes me a little emotional (and I mean everything – it’s a good thing we don’t have cable because I don’t know what I would do if faced with an emotionally-charged commercial right now)
3. I’m sad for that teacher

…

I’m not really sure what compelled me to go back and reread all my past entries (thankfully I’m not great at updating this space, so there weren’t too many to read lol), but I’m really glad I did. When I sat down to write this post, I was thinking it was going to be a happy and uplifting “back to school” post. At this rate, I think it might be by the end, but first I need a minute to talk about that teacher, so bear with me.

…

I wish so badly that the teacher from those first posts could meet the teacher she is now. I’m starting my seventh year (seventh year!!!) of teaching. That teacher fought every day to survive those first two years, and, honestly, she barely did it. That teacher never would have imagined feeling excited at the start of a school year. That teacher never could have guessed that students would run out from behind the counter at a restaurant to give her a hug (and a bit of an employee discount 😉). The list of ways that teacher was robbed go on and on…I think what makes me so sad is how sad all those posts are. How desperate they are for someone to save her or make it better. How defeated she felt every day. How hopeless a life in this career seemed to her.

…

I’ve posted a few times about my “song for the year” – something to set the mood or tone for the year. I’ve done songs for the new year, songs for a new age, and songs for different school years. That teacher chose “God Is Good” by Francesca Battistelli. At the risk of copyright infringement, I want to share some of those lyrics with you here:

“It’s funny / That life I designed never played out / Like I had in mind / Had some highs hit the ground / Some ups that went down / But one thing that I figured out / Joy comes, tears fall / I’m learning there is beauty in it all / It’s not hard to find it, you just have to look / Oh, God is good”

First off: what a perfect message. Second: you should know that that teacher listened to that particular song on her way to work almost every single morning her second year of teaching (or at least every B schedule day). And every day she listened to that song, she cried while singing those words, willing them to be true. Surely God was still good, surely joy would come after the tears, surely there was beauty that would come out of that experience.

…

Spoiler alert: she was right.

…

This year this version of that teacher has a new song picked out: “Days God Gave” by Matt Hammitt. Again, please forgive my copyright while I share some lyrics with you:

“Wish I could write myself a song / For my teenage radio / So I’d hear through broken headphones / All the things that I know now / And I’d start with it gets better / Yeah, this page is gonna turn / ‘Cause right now that’s the one thing / That I wish that I had heard / Now the road won’t be so easy / So roll those windows down / And if you look you’ll see the beauty / Anywhere that you breakdown”

First off: what a perfect message. Second: I really do wish I could go back and write that teacher a song (or, in my case, maybe a comment on one of those blog posts). It does get better. I see now the beauty in those learning moments that got me from being that teacher to being here. Sure, there are still tears (like I said, I’m emotional!), but there is so. much. joy. in my classroom, in my hallway, and in my life.

…

I suppose my message to that teacher is simple: you were right. You were right: that situation sucked. You were right: that was really hard. You were right: that wasn’t fair. You were right: joy came and tears fell, but there was so much beauty in it all.

As I prepare for this upcoming school year, I hope I never forget that teacher. For her, I really do want to hold on to these moments (you’re right, Matt Hammitt, they are going by so fast!), take time with the ones I love, make a million memories, and never let these days that God gave me get away.

…

Thank you to that teacher for making me this teacher. For her, we’re going to have a great year ♥