It’s midterms for my students and let me tell you what: emotions are high in my classroom.

We’ve got the students who did a lot of work all semester so they’d be able to slack off at the end (honestly, I can’t really be mad at this one—they’re still passing).

We’ve got the students who slacked off all semester so they’re overwhelmed at the end (not as smart a move, but hey, procrastinators unite).

 We’ve got the students who still haven’t showed up to a single class meeting.

And then there’s me, barely hanging on to the thin, thin, and I mean thin strand holding our class together right now.

Teachers: how do you do it?!

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I’ve read the books and the blog posts. I’ve watched the TikToks (don’t judge, “Teacher Tech Tip” videos are genuinely wonderful!). I know that it’s important to set boundaries. I know that self-care is important.

But how.

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“Self-care” is a not word I’m unfamiliar with. When I worked at a summer camp, I preached this to my staff every summer when sleep hours were low and emotions were high. I’ve comforted friends and loved ones and reminded them that it’s okay to make time to care for yourself.

It’s easy to say that to other people. It’s easy to read it in a book and highlight that passage and nod along thinking “these are great ideas and I’ll definitely put these into practice in my own life.” Only it’s really hard to actually put them into practice in my own life.

How many times have I said “I’m done for the night” only to move to the couch and answer more emails from my phone?

How many times have I said “You know what, I’ll do this in the morning” only to keep working at 1:00 AM because my to-do list kept me from falling asleep?

How many times have I cancelled plans with my family and friends because I had to grade or plan?

The answer to those questions is “too many times to count.”

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I’ve tried.

I’ve filled my phone screen with esthetically pleasing motivational quotes (that iOS14 update is a game changer!)…just to replace them with reminder, calendar, and email widgets.

I’ve drawn up a bath, lit a candle, grabbed snacks (FYI Dots Pretzels do not float when dropped in water), and put on nice music…just to answer emails because the constant buzz from my phone was stressing me out.

I purchased a journal to keep next to my bed for all the emotional stories that need somewhere to go that isn’t my head and my heart…just to use that journal to make middle-of-the-night-to-do lists for school.

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Teachers, friends, family, strangers on the internet:

How do you set boundaries?

How do you create a self-care routine?

How do you balance teaching and living?

Bonus Question: how do you keep those boundaries, routines, and balance?

Asking for a friend.

Me.