summer break – Confessions From My Classroom

It has been one month since the school year ended, and I have followed through on my “Summer of Suz” promise to myself – plenty of travel, pool days, and relaxation after a whirlwind year!

And, I’ve been working on my summer reading list! Thanks to my amazing family and friends, I have a great collection of young adult and middle grade texts in my classroom library collection. But, also because of the family and friends in question, my TBR (To Be Read) list seems to only grow bigger and bigger. So, it’s not so much a TBR list as it is a TBR bucket…and I’ve made it through five of those titles in June 😊 I can’t wait to add these titles to my classroom library this fall.

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko
We Are Not From Here by Jenny Torres Sanchez
In Five Years by Rebecca Serle
Love From A to Z by S. K. Ali
We Are All Made of Molecules by Susin Nielsen

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As much as I’ve loved my evenings reading and daily TikTok binges, I just would not be myself if I didn’t squeeze some work in every once in a while, too. I’ve gotten to see my new classroom and tour part of my new school, I have applied to a new graduate program, I’ve registered for conferences & professional development seminars, studied for a Praxis exam (that test is next week – wish me luck), searched for a new place to live so I can start the moving process, and more.

So, even as I relax and soak up the daily snuggles from my puppy (snuggles that I miss so much when I’m at school all day), I still feel a little anxious for all that is happening outside the “Summer of Suz.” There is so much to do to prepare for what comes when summer is done!

While some days it is easy for me to push aside the little voice in my head whispering all the things I should be doing when I sit down with my book, it has been a little harder for me this week.

Because it’s summer and I finally have time to do things during the day, I purposely scheduled doctor’s appointments and checkups during these summer days. This week, I just happened to have three different appointments. As one does, we started each appointment with pleasantries: how I’m doing (always “Well” in case you were wondering), exclamations about the weather (it’s true, we are having a hot summer), you know the drift. And, without fail, the question “What do you do?” is always posed rather soon into the conversation. The response “I’m a teacher” is met with a few follow-up questions.

None of this bothers me. In fact, it’s kind of refreshing to talk to adults and not high school students who already know way too much about you and no longer care to address pleasantries.

What did bother me, however, was the follow-up question that I answered at each of my appointments this week. When I told the helpful nurses and assistants and doctors that I am a teacher, each one responded with something along the lines of “Gosh, it must be nice to have nothing to do all summer, huh?”

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You know what, I’m sure it would be nice to have nothing to do all summer! I personally can’t say I’m familiar with the feeling, but I imagine it’s a great one 😉

As much as I try to live my poolside, ultra-relaxed, dream summer lifestyle, I can’t fully ignore that little voice pushing me to get some work done. I can’t seem to fully push down the guilt I have when I don’t open my computer, or the anxiety I get when I think about the upcoming school year and how much uncertainty I still feel.

Teachers – I could use some advice. If you are currently a teacher, if you were previously a teacher, if you just happen to know a lot about teachers, help me out. What is the best way to balance summer relaxation with productivity for the next school year??!! Because I think we all know that school is definitely not out just because it’s summer – but I’d still like to enjoy this little break!

Would you look at that! Another day, another blog post starting with an apology for my seven-month-long blog hiatus!

If I were following my usual blog post template, this paragraph would start with my generic explanation of how crazy life has been, how busy I’ve been, and why I’ve been neglecting to post for a while.

And while that is true, life has been crazy and I have been busy, I’m feeling a little wild today, so let’s skip that part 😉

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Instead, we’ll jump right to the 7-month recap. From November to May, here’s all you need to know: I DID IT.

I finished my second year of teaching.

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It actually feels surreal to say that – I can’t believe it!

These last two years have been the hardest years of my life. I realize that sounds dramatic, and in some ways it maybe is, but truly. I have never cried, stressed, doubted myself, or panicked more than I did this last two years.

In two years, I:

taught all online classes for a semester
taught hybrid classes for a semester
taught wearing a mask for 1.5 years
taught a class of 30 students who didn’t speak the same language as I do
taught classes outside my content area
taught classes of upwards of 40 students at a time
broke up countless fights
busted countless drug deals and smoking sessions in class and in the bathrooms
confiscated countless lighters (especially after they were used to light another student’s pants on fire)
had students pierce each other’s ears during class
cleaned up boxes worth of condoms that were thrown like confetti around the room
repeatedly reshelved books after they had been thrown at me and other students
purchased new AirPods after some students stole mine
discovered that THC now comes in chip form

And more! A dear friend of mine suggested I write a memoir with all my bizarre stories – stayed tuned for that to hit shelves soon 😉

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I couldn’t have done it without my amazing support system.

I am so thankful:

for my team and the other teachers on my hallway for letting me cry, for letting me bombard them with questions, and for being there for me to rant and laugh and eat way too much candy with!
for my family and amazing friends who picked me up, brushed me off, and told me I could do it. You were right. Sorry I didn’t believe you. Thanks for believing enough for both of us.
for my students. They taught me so much. I can only hope I passed some of that knowledge on to them.

And if, by chance, this blog post reaches another young teacher who is feeling overwhelmed and defeated, please reach out. You are amazing and you are not alone. Teaching can and should be an amazing and rewarding experience. Let’s work together to achieve that experience together.

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Enough looking back! Now, I look forward to what comes next. I’m moving a little farther south and starting my next adventure at a new school this fall. I know teaching isn’t easy (I never expected it to be) but I’m really looking forward to new and different challenges that maybe don’t push me so close to my breaking point 😉

As I prepare for next school year, I’m celebrating my success (and survival!) with the “Summer of Suz” – I have decided that I will absolutely be living my best life this summer! I started with a week-long trip to visit my sister on the island of St. Maarten. I hope these pictures bring you almost as much joy as this trip brought me.