Author: suzannamoberg

List of Love

List of Love

by suzannamoberg ♥ 1 Comment

Well y’all, I have officially made it through my first quarter of teaching!!

(How many exclamation points is too many? I was thinking one million would be appropriate in this instance.)

The end of the quarter means the start of fall break and some time to sit back, relax, and reflect on these past 9 weeks.

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I want to start by saying thank you to all who reached out to me after my last post. It’s hard for me to be vulnerable because I (like most people I’m sure) like to make it seem like I’ve got it all together. Spoiler alert: I do not have it all together.  

(Insert cliché “We may not have it all together, but together we have it all” and cue the “awwww” from the audience 😊).

It’s really easy for me to focus on the negative, and I think I’ve gotten really sucked into that mindset lately. Frankly, it’s easier to say “ugh, this happened to me today and that really sucked” than it is to say “gosh, that wasn’t great but here’s something that was.”

And guess what? So. Many. Great. Things. Have happened to me (both in and out of my classroom) since this school year started! So, here’s a little “list of love” to kick off this fall break:

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1. I love that I’ve (virtually) met some really amazing students who make me giggle and smile.


1.5. I love that some of those students even turn their cameras on sometimes 😉


2. I love that I’ve started to discover who I am as a teacher and what works for my students in our virtual space.


3. I love that virtual school allows me to teach from home, from school, or even from North Dakota.


4. I love that I’ve (virtually) met some of the kindest, most supportive colleagues who answer all 7 billion questions that I ask them daily.


5. I love that I have the greatest support system who are always there for kind words, a shoulder to cry on, and advice to pick me back up.


6. I love that I get to attend soccer tournaments, golf tournaments, pool parties, and sleepovers, and make memories with my family down here.


7. I love exploring the hiking trails, the parks, the food, and the water (and pretty much everything) in my new city.


8. I love that I live down the street from the cutest coffee shop (see picture) and best doughnut shop in town (my wallet and my waist, however, do not feel the same!).


9. I love that it’s fall but it still feels like summer (thank you living in the south!).


10. I love this crazy life I’m living!!

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I don’t know what I’m doing half the time (I’m not going to lie, I don’t think teachers ever know what they’re doing they just get really good at pretending after a while), but I know that I’m learning so much from all of those around me.

This role of “teacher” is my dream, and I love that I get to live it every day.

Asking For Me

Asking For Me

by suzannamoberg ♥ 3 Comments

It’s midterms for my students and let me tell you what: emotions are high in my classroom.

We’ve got the students who did a lot of work all semester so they’d be able to slack off at the end (honestly, I can’t really be mad at this one—they’re still passing).

We’ve got the students who slacked off all semester so they’re overwhelmed at the end (not as smart a move, but hey, procrastinators unite).

 We’ve got the students who still haven’t showed up to a single class meeting.

And then there’s me, barely hanging on to the thin, thin, and I mean thin strand holding our class together right now.

Teachers: how do you do it?!

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I’ve read the books and the blog posts. I’ve watched the TikToks (don’t judge, “Teacher Tech Tip” videos are genuinely wonderful!). I know that it’s important to set boundaries. I know that self-care is important.

But how.

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“Self-care” is a not word I’m unfamiliar with. When I worked at a summer camp, I preached this to my staff every summer when sleep hours were low and emotions were high. I’ve comforted friends and loved ones and reminded them that it’s okay to make time to care for yourself.

It’s easy to say that to other people. It’s easy to read it in a book and highlight that passage and nod along thinking “these are great ideas and I’ll definitely put these into practice in my own life.” Only it’s really hard to actually put them into practice in my own life.

How many times have I said “I’m done for the night” only to move to the couch and answer more emails from my phone?

How many times have I said “You know what, I’ll do this in the morning” only to keep working at 1:00 AM because my to-do list kept me from falling asleep?

How many times have I cancelled plans with my family and friends because I had to grade or plan?

The answer to those questions is “too many times to count.”

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I’ve tried.

I’ve filled my phone screen with esthetically pleasing motivational quotes (that iOS14 update is a game changer!)…just to replace them with reminder, calendar, and email widgets.

I’ve drawn up a bath, lit a candle, grabbed snacks (FYI Dots Pretzels do not float when dropped in water), and put on nice music…just to answer emails because the constant buzz from my phone was stressing me out.

I purchased a journal to keep next to my bed for all the emotional stories that need somewhere to go that isn’t my head and my heart…just to use that journal to make middle-of-the-night-to-do lists for school.

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Teachers, friends, family, strangers on the internet:

How do you set boundaries?

How do you create a self-care routine?

How do you balance teaching and living?

Bonus Question: how do you keep those boundaries, routines, and balance?

Asking for a friend.

Me.

The Power of a Smile

The Power of a Smile

by suzannamoberg ♥ 1 Comment

A student smiled at me today!

Well…I don’t know if she actually smiled or if it was one of those “I have no response but I’ll send a smiley face and an lol anyways” moments, but she sent me a smiley face emoji in the online call chat after I made some corny joke.

I’m taking it as a win.

A student smiled at me today!

And I genuinely can’t stop grinning about it.

Like for real. Ear to ear, teeth showing, its kind of making my cheeks hurt, grin. All over a little smiley emoji.

I didn’t realize how much I needed, and I mean physically needed, that smiley face emoji.

In my virtual classroom, cameras are encouraged but not required. Those students didn’t ask for me to invade their space, the home that used to be their private sanctuary away from the school building. They didn’t ask for me to enter their bedroom or their living room or whatever space they’ve made into their temporary online classroom (for me, teaching from my office/bedroom has forced me to start making my bed every day which is a win for adulthood amiright).

But I want to invade those spaces.

That makes me sound creepy or like a stalker, and I don’t mean it that way at all. But I want to see who they are and where they are. Partly because I’m nosy and I want to make sure they aren’t napping or at McDonalds getting lunch, but mostly because I want to see them smiling (or not smiling) at my jokes. I want to see when they roll their eyes as I sing a random (but usually applicable) TikTok song or do my attempt at a popular dance. I want to see their faces as I teach to know if they’re understanding the concepts or if they’re zombies just there to get the attendance credit.

I didn’t realize how important such a small thing like seeing student’s faces would be.

We talked a lot in my teacher prep program about how crucial building relationships with your students is. How diligent a teacher must be about learning and using student’s names. How “building relationships” extends beyond who they are as students and into who they are as people.

But we didn’t talk about what to do when you can’t build relationships with your students.

If my student’s never ever turn on their camera or speak up in class or turn in any assignments, how do I build a relationship with them?

Unfortunately, in this world of many un-answerable questions, that is a problem that I have not yet solved.

A student smiled at me today!

And that smile meant more than she will ever know.  

Defeated

Defeated

by suzannamoberg ♥ 1 Comment

I felt defeated today.

Well, defeated might not be the right word.

I felt frustrated. Discouraged. Exhausted.

Over a 50-minute virtual class.

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As a first-year teacher—bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and naïve—this is not what I imagined my first year of teaching would be. There was supposed to be a Pinterest-perfect classroom set up for group work and flexible seating. There were supposed to be students in the desks. There was supposed to be discussion and collaboration. Inside jokes and laughter. Engagement and learning.

I never pictured a blank classroom with empty desks that face forward and are spaced as far apart as possible.

I never pictured preparing for a school year only to find out that plans were changing (almost weekly) and I’d be teaching virtually for at least two more months.

I never pictured my students appearing only as small little boxes on a computer screen never to be seen or heard from once they’ve entered the meeting.

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I like to be in control, and in my COVID classroom, there is no such thing as control.

How do you manage a classroom when your classroom is spread out into 40 different households?

How do you adjust wait time when your students are probably napping and are definitely not listening to any question you’re asking?

(I had a real life “Bueller? Bueller?” moment today and it was definitely not as funny as the movie made it out to be).  

How do you engage students who have decided that virtual school is the worst thing that could possibly happen to them?

How do you sympathize with the seniors who feel robbed of all the “lasts” that were supposed to come with this year?

(Because guess what? I feel robbed, too.)

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So much new. So much different. It’s taking a while for me to accept that new and different do not equal bad.

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I felt defeated today.

But I won’t feel defeated every day.

And for now?

That’s just going to have to be enough.

First Day of School as a Teacher

First Day of School as a Teacher

by suzannamoberg ♥ 1 Comment

Today a student asked a question and I genuinely forgot that I was the one who was supposed to answer.

It wasn’t a hard question or one that was above my paygrade (although, with everything changing every day due to the pandemic, most questions are above my paygrade).

It wasn’t a trick question meant to mess with my head or make me look dumb in front of my students.

A student simply asked me what they could expect from this course.

And I sat. I nodded. I acknowledged that it was a good question. And then I waited for the teacher to answer.

Only…

I’m the teacher.

What.

I’d like to say I recovered smoothly, but this is a space to be honest, and, honestly, I did not recover smoothly. After what felt like 7 ½ years of awkward silence, I stumbled my way through an answer about a “variety of assessment tools” and “a little bit of everything.” The students still probably have no clue what to expect this year, but *spoiler alert* neither do I.

I have no clue what this year looks like for us. My school is opting for a virtual classroom environment the first few months of school until the COVID cases in our area begin to decrease. Unfortunately, my teacher prep program didn’t quite get to the “How to Prepare for Your First School Year As a Teacher When You Might Be Teaching Online and Also In Person and Also Maybe Probably Both All During A Global Pandemic” chapter in our textbook.

I have no clue where to begin. The other teachers at my school are amazing (and I truly mean amazing), but I have so many questions that I don’t even know what questions I have any more. I didn’t get access to my curriculum until 2 days before school started and I have no clue where to start. I keep looking at this blank Schoology folder and hoping that magically some great, engaging, standards-based lessons will just appear. Maybe I’ll keep drinking this Stella Peach until they do 😉 Ha!

Anyways, stay tuned as I hopefully figure out how to lesson plan—and how to not panic when I remember that I’m the teacher now. Happy back to school!